A Bitter End


When a customer complains about a drink, it makes me want to shrivel up and die. Imagine coming to uni, paying three bucks out of your tiny Centrelink fund and getting something you thought would be glorious, only to find it’s not hot enough, too bitter or worse…skinny milk.

It happens, bad coffees cross the line here and there which is all part of the process. As long as your coffees are consistently satisfactory, take the hit, it probably won’t happen tomorrow. But if you receive more than three out of ten crap coffees, that’s our problem.

I wondered this the other day as I dined out in a restaurant, always packed with the doorway littered by amazing reviews. Not a breakfast place, but a bona fide five star restaurant, which I have chosen not to name.

I had a fantastic dinner giving my palate the orgasm it craved. I all but licked the plate clean and decided dessert would only enhance this experience further. I ordered a single shot of espresso between the meals in hopes to refresh my appetite.

The coffee looked terrible. Completely under extracted with absolutely no crema, I wondered if they had added food colouring to the water. Yet I decided to take the hit, maybe the dim lighting was being rude to this single shot of horror. It wasn’t, I was right, it was awful.

This wasn’t my first bad coffee from a supposed great restaurant, there have been others. It stumps me that they are all so proficient when it comes to wine, yet completely unreliable when it comes to coffee.

Restaurants in Melbourne know their wine and can pull out any adjective and regional clue that could help anyone decide which best suits their pork, poultry, pasta or fish, why not coffee? Shouldn’t the same routine be used in order to compliment your mousse, cheesecake, cheese or chocolate gateau? It adds to the experience just as a latte brightens your morning.

It’s rather shameful that a lot of these fabulous restaurants can put so much time and effort into wine, yet none into the second most traded commodity in the world.

Yes, wine is more expensive and more money is made out of it compared to a cappuccino. But going home with a bitter taste in your mouth seems like far more of a bargain. Of course, if you’ve taken several hits with the wine, maybe you won’t really notice.

1 Response to “A Bitter End”

  1. 1 David October 5, 2009 at 11:57 am

    i had a coffee made by some new girl, from caffeine last year, i think. it tasted like custard. i don’t even think there was coffee in it. i think that was also the last time i bought a necromancer.

    she wasn’t employed the following week. and all’s right with the world.

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