Sensationalizing the Bean

Robert Downey Jr

Robert Downey Jr

While on the bus the other day an old long-haired man jumped on. I caught his eye, searched his face and suddenly, ‘soy latte’ dropped into my head. I then debated on whether or not I should smile, I didn’t, as it is usually met with a blank face for my memory works in mysterious ways, I will never remember a customer’s name but I will always remember their drink.

 Most customers are completely surprised when I say their order before it is placed, they exchange a slightly embarrassed smile as if they’ve just realized that buying three coffees in one day is over the top.



“Hey there, skinny cappuccino?” I look at the customer, pen and cup in hand, with a Cheshire cat grin.

 “Well yes, how did you know?” The customer inquires once the shock wears off.

 “I have a good memory,” I announce proudly, as if it was actually my memory and not the fact that they frequent the shop four times a day.

“Oh, I must come in here too often,” a sheepish yet thoughtful reply.

 Back on the bus and after the customer sighting, I decided to recall the most interesting customers I’ve come across (I didn’t have a book and the guy next to me grabbed the MX, jerk). Here they are, in no particular order:

 Robert Downey Jr. – This was in California, not La Trobe University. He ordered a medium latte, was very nice, extremely quiet and undeniably gorgeous.

 Tim Flannery – The former Australian of the year was partaking in a conversation with Robert Manne. He ordered a Mint Mix T2, in a takeaway cup, guess he missed my ‘Green Ranter’ post.

 Bobby Morley – Former Home and Away star and current La Trobian, he orders a large skinny latte. I’m happy to accommodate this humanitarian because according to Wikipedia he “rescue[d] Minister Tim Holding when he was lost on Mount Feathertop in the Victorian Alps.”

 Meg Ryan – What a treat, she actually didn’t order a coffee she got a zucchini-walnut muffin. Meg was wearing sunglasses, I nearly missed the sighting but thankfully I recognized her lips (California).

 Jason Biggs – The American Pie star ordered a medium cappuccino, very friendly, but the movie was fresh in my mind and all I could think about was the pie scene, it was an awkward encounter (California).

 Ok, the above customers are either splashed all over the tabloids or a prominent figure in science, it was a little easier to remember their names and drinks. As for the regulars, I see you every day, make the same coffee for you every day, it shouldn’t be too surprising that I can recall your order, it is after all my job.

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